Caring for someone who is having thoughts of suicide can feel stressful and scary. There are things you can do to help provide a safe home for them, such as connecting with them and by removing ways that they might harm themselves.

Communication can help to keep them safe.

• Establish communication with the young person in ways that work for the young person e.g., talking in the car, walking and talking, sitting next to them, text check ins etc.
• Talk to the young person about and remind them that you care about them, reassure them that you are here to talk with them, and that their wellbeing and safety is important.
• Encouraging the young person to reach out to their social connections and support people can help someone who is feeling suicidal get help when they need it or to talk about their feelings before they act on them.
• When you are really worried that they might hurt themselves – check in with them regularly, know their whereabouts. If you have to leave the house, think about taking the person with you or asking a friend, whānau member or neighbour to sit with them if you have to go out and they cannot or do not want to go with you.
• Include the young person in planning and managing safety concerns where possible. Remind them that you care about them and want to talk about how best to keep them safe.
• Encourage the young person to talk to you about their suicidal thoughts/impulses. You don’t need to fix the problem for them or even have to understand their point of view. You just need to show them that you care about them, that you understand they are going through a tough time, and that you are there to support them. Encouraging them
  and supporting them to get help is also really important and you might need to make that first phone call for help together.
• Be aware of high-risk periods for that individual – relationship problems or fights with whānau, a court appearance or dealings with the police, transitions in care, times where they might feel ashamed or humiliated, when their counsellor is absent or on holiday, or anniversaries. Be extra aware of checking their safety at these times.
• Be aware of what the person is accessing online - either from their phone or computer. There are many websites which talk about ways which people can suicide and sometimes there are people who might encourage depressed or suicidal individuals to act on their thoughts of harming themselves.
• Encourage and check with the young person about sharing with you what platforms they are using online. Ask about what they are reading and writing on social networking sites and blogging etc.
• Encourage activities that can assist with immediate mood and provide safe alternatives to self-harm and expression of upsetting feelings such as physical activity, art and writing, relaxing activities, and contact with positive people.

It is important to treat all threats, ideas, plans or talk about suicide as real and serious. People who are suicidal may look for ways to hurt themselves at any time, so removing access to things that they could use to hurt themselves is a really important part of keeping them safe.

Thoughts about suicide come and go and can be acted on impulsively. By removing easily accessible ways in which someone can harm themselves can create some space and time and it can allow feelings about hurting themselves to change, and/or decrease and/or connection to supports to occur.

It also communicates that we are concerned about the person and don’t want them to hurt themselves.

Removing means can help keep them safe.

It is important to think about all the methods someone could use to hurt themselves in the home. Removing dangerous items from the home provides safety by decreasing the ability for someone access means to hurt themselves if they are feeling impulsive and/or distressed. 

Download the resources above for details about specific means of harm, and how you can reduce access and increase support.

Making a plan to help keep someone safe

• An important part of helping to manage risk is developing a plan with the suicidal person about how to keep them safe. Your social worker and any involved counsellors or services can work with you and the suicidal person to develop these plans.
• This plan could include;
  • Signs that might show they are feeling worse and need help;
  • Where they can get help including people to call;
  • When to call people or get help if they feel like they are not coping;
  • What are the things that people can do that helps (and the things that don’t help so people don’t do these);
  • Important contact people (e.g., whānau, social workers, therapists).
• After the immediate risk has passed, it is also important to work with the person to build up their coping skills, hope and resilience. A plan should be made to help them build their future in a positive, strengths-based way and could include;
  • Identifying the things they are good at and finding activities that use and build on these;
  • Identifying reasons for living, and activities and people that are important to them
  • Building their connections in the community such as with a mentor or a sports team;
  • Helping them get into courses, a job, or education;
  • Helping them work through any issues that made have made them feel bad previously and to develop a plan to help with this;
  • Getting treatment for any mental health problems that could be bothering them.

Places to get help

• Call your local mental health crisis team if you would like the person to be assessed. The contact details for your local team can be found at Crisis / emergency mental health district teams • Crisis / emergency mental health district teams • Healthpoint
• 17137 Call or txt 1737
• Youthline 0800 376 633 txt 234
• Lifeline 0800 543 354
• Suicide crisis line 0508 828 865