Sometimes, changes in a rangatahi’s behaviour, feelings, or beliefs about themselves can signal that they are at increased risk of suicide. These changes may seem out of character or unusual for that person.

It is important to remember that some rangatahi may not show any obvious warnings signs before becoming suicidal. For others, suicidal behaviour can happen impulsively, especially if they are using alcohol or other drugs. Some young people may hide their distress by acting recklessly, aggressively, or without thinking about the consequences.

Being aware of possible warning signs can help whānau notice when a rangatahi might need extra support or help.

Common Warning Signs

Changes in behaviour

• Withdrawing from friends or whānau, or isolating themselves (for example, suddenly ending a relationship).
• Losing interest in activities they once enjoyed.
• Drop in school, work, or sports performance.
• Skipping school or other regular commitments
• Crying frequently or showing increased anger.
• Taking new risks (e.g., drinking, shop-lifting, reckless driving, or unsafe behaviour).
• Putting affairs in order (such as saying goodbye to loved ones).
• Giving away personal effects or prized possessions.

Changes in mood

• Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, anger, irritability, moodiness, emotional instability (mood swings), or emptiness.
• Changes in thinking
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Low self-esteem or negative self-talk.
• Physical changes
• Noticeable changes in weight or appetite.
• Changes in sleep (trouble sleeping or oversleeping).
• Loss of energy or feeling unusually restless.
• Frequent physical complaints (e.g., headaches, stomach aches, fatigue).

Preoccupation with death

• Talking, writing, drawing, or reading about death.
• Often thinking or talking about someone who has died.

Talk of suicide

• Saying things like “I’d be better off dead”, “What’s the point in living?”.
• Talking about wanting to die or end their life.
• Asking questions or researching ways to die.
• Making a plan or preparing for suicide.

Stress and loss

• Major stress or loss (real or perceived).
• Recent death or suicide among whānau, friends or peers.
• Recent whānau break-up or conflict.
• Relationship breakdowns or family conflict.

Sudden calm or ‘Resolution’

If a young person who has seemed distressed suddenly appears calm or happy, this may mean they have made a plan to suicide. Continue to check in, support, and monitor them closely over time.

What to do

If you’re worried that a young person may be suicidal, you can make a big difference by reaching out and supporting them.

Be direct. It’s okay to talk about suicide. Talking about it won’t put the idea in their head.

Be non-judgemental. Avoid debating or dismissing their feelings.

Show you care. Be present, show interest, and offer support.

Don’t promise to keep it a secret. It’s important to get help – for them and for yourself.

Offer hope. Gently remind them that help and other options are available.

Try not to act shocked. The young person may think that they can tell you about their suicidal thoughts.

Take action. Remove any immediate means of harm (e.g., firearms, ropes, medications).

Get professional help. Contact mental health services, your GP, or emergency services if you’re concerns about their immediate safety.

Don't give up. Your care and persistence can make a real difference.

Where to get help

If you’re worried about someone, or if you need support yourself, you can contact

• 1737 – Need to Talk? Call or text 1737 any time for free support from a trained counsellor.
• Youthline: 0800 376 633 or free text 234.
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text 4357.
• If someone is in immediate danger, call 111.

References

Question, Persuade, Refer. Level I Training: QPR Suicide Screening
Youth Suicide Prevention Gatekeeper Training.
Teen Suicide and Youth Suicide. Canterbury Suicide Project.